


Ebb and Flow

by fallenangel218



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1385554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenangel218/pseuds/fallenangel218
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has felt this way for a long time; losing her hasn't helped. Episode Tag to Past, Present and Future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ebb and Flow

_"Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be... there's a shadow hanging over me... oh, yesterday came suddenly..." - **Yesterday,** The Beatles_

Silence filled the apartment. His duffel bag sat next to the door, where he'd left it. The liquor cabinet was open, and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue was missing from its usual spot. It had a new home now -- the coffee table. The bottle was nearly empty, as was the glass next to it. 

Tony was on the floor. He'd started out on the couch. With each glass of scotch, he'd experienced a new emotion. The sadness he felt with the first glass quickly evolved into anger. After the sixth glass, the framed photo of the team that sat on the side table had relocated to the floor, broken glass littered everywhere. 

He couldn't have that picture in his presence any longer. It wasn't accurate. Ziva was off somewhere, "finding herself." He'd begged her to come home with him, but all he had to show for it was her necklace. He squeezed the hand that held the tiny Star of David necklace. His anger blended with feelings of resentfulness. 

_Stupid necklace. Why did she even give it to me? To remind me that she's never fucking coming back?_

He finished off glass number nine, and threw the empty glass across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. He slid off the couch and hit the floor with a thud. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He was completely overwhelmed by his emotions. 

_DiNozzo men do not cry._

It'd been drilled into him since he was eight years old. He didn't cry at his Mother's funeral. He'd wanted to so badly, but his father's glare kept him from shedding any tears. He never did cry for her. He buried her, and tried to move on with his life. 

Wendy was supposed to be the one. It took him a long time to get the nerve to propose. Everything was finally starting to even out for him. Then, she was gone. A few days before the wedding, she left him. She even pulled the old "it's not you, it's me" line. He was alone. Again. 

He wanted to cry for Kate. She'd been one of the best friends he'd had, and he had to watch her die. Her blood was on his face when he dropped to his knees on the rooftop. He never cried. He slipped into his emotional mask, and moved on. 

She came into his life after Kate. Ziva was mysterious, exotic, sexy and unattainable. He'd known that from the start. God knows why he flirted, put his heart on the line. She left him, like all the other women in his life. Why should be be surprised? 

_Who the hell needs to fall in love, anyway? I'll just get fucked over in the end._

He flew to Israel to bring her home. He pleaded with her to come back with him. He'd have been content with her bagging groceries, so long as they were together. She needed to find herself. 

_A bullshit excuse._

He tried again at the airport to get her to come back. He had to fight the urge to drag her on that plane with him. Instead, through tears, he kissed her with more passion than he'd ever kissed anyone before, and forced himself to leave her there. He tried to put on his emotional mask as he boarded the plane, but he knew she could see right through it. He didn't look back. 

The apartment was dark, and reeked of whiskey. Tony remained on the floor, back against the couch. Tears streamed down his face. The bottle he'd been drinking from was long empty. 

Ziva was gone, and he cried. 

**END**


End file.
